For starters, in Christianity, other than the major rules concerning overt sexual conduct i.e. adultery, homosexuality, etc., the general laws concerning social contacts are few. Even the most devout of Christians never have to worry about keeping Kosher , dressing and behaving modestly, or a host of other social prohibitions that limit the amount of contact and, in addition, alter one’s appearance and behavior to the point of seeming other-worldly, impolite, or even strange to the world around them. A Christian is never required to cover up his wine when he invites a Hindu over for dinner. Unlike Judaism, Christianity doesn’t tell you how to tie your shoes, what hand to wipe your ass with, or to immediately step off an elevator should you end up alone in it with a female who is not a close blood relation. If Reb Chaim Lefkowitz were living in
Now someone out there may already be wondering why I chose to include keeping Kosher among the other social restrictions. The Torah tells us that the laws of Kosher are among the laws that have no rational explanation, much like the laws governing certain garments. In Jewish schools we are taught that King Solomon may have figured it out the riddle, or that Elijah the prophet, upon his return to announce the Messianic Era, will then answer all the legal and theological quandaries for us. I don’t think it’s all that complicated. Keeping kosher was never meant as a dietary restriction per se. The limiting of dietary options serves to control travel and social contact outside the bounds of one’s tribe. By prohibiting three-quarters of what the neighboring tribes and peoples were consuming daily, Moses sought to further insulate and isolate the children of
This is why Christian religious loonies like Mel Gibson remain unnoticed for so long. That is until, of course, they are emboldened enough to produce high-budget religious-themed films or attempt to salvage waning careers with excursions into a ministry of some sort. Then, inevitably, there are the chosen few who get piss-drunk, drive way over the speed limit, and imagine themselves as persecuted by members of a crack squad of mercenary Hadassah members in league with Zionist controlled police agencies. Just a little paranoid aren't we, Mel? (Though nowhere as paranoid as the Jew who leaps from an elevator because he has to share it with a non-Jewish woman for thirty seconds as if she is somehow, in that short time period, going to find him so irresistible that she would rape him in the elevator. Who does the Chasid think he is? Mel Gibson?)
Considering recent events, I think that ‘Thunderdome’ would have been a lot funnier (I thought the whole thing was funny) had Mel Gibson been required to fight Alan Dershowitz, but I guess that’s why no one asks for my input on screenplays (or parodies) anymore. (My money is on Dershowitz, but only if his character is played by Woody Allen.) I am currently working on “Lethal Weapon V” which, starring the same idiots as the first four sequels, involves Mel, Danny, and Joe fighting off Mosad-trained Ninja Chasidim diamond cutters. In the climax, Mel has a dream vision of a Yiddish-only Jesus, and due to Mel’s inability to understand, he slips into a drunken hysteria and murders his partner. This script will probably be rejected for being too realistic.
Sigh. I’m looking for investors.