Mounting Your Kill - Literally

November 16th, 2006 at 09:55:36

Lawyer: Sex with dead deer no crime

Duluth News Tribune

Prosecution of a Douglas County case involving alleged sexual contact with a dead deer may hinge on the legal definition of the word “animal.”

Bryan James Hathaway, 20, of Superior faces a misdemeanor charge of sexual gratification with an animal. He is accused of having sex with a dead deer he saw beside Stinson Avenue on Oct. 11.

You have got to be fucking kidding me. A cold, dead deer? And road kill to boot? I have heard of rednecks and country folk bailing from the pick up truck to scrape up a free meal from up off the pavement now and then, but sex with road kill? I guess nothing is out of the realm of possibility for some folks. This guy needs therapy.

I might have even understood this odd event, weird as it is, had this moron actually chased the deer down, killed it, and his act of triumph became somehow transformed into a heat-of-the-moment frenzy of sexual conquest. Think of it as a victory dance of sorts. After all, the guy is only 20 and from a very small town. Who knows what those people do for entertainment?

I guess this gives whole new meaning to ‘mounting’ your kill.