Ad Limerick

Janice works for the sister company to the storage concern that employs yours truly. A large part of her responsibility is for marketing and public relations. She attends numerous chamber of commerce functions as well as small business networking groups. In one of these groups, participants are required each week to offer a sixty-second promotional for their business. One of the members, a local optometrist, pens cute little jingles from time to time. Janice, knowing my propensity for limericks and good challenge, asked me to write a short advertisement for her, perhaps even something that would put our friendly optometrist to shame. This was a prospect that I could not pass up.

Here is my first effort:

Mary had a little lamb

As snowfall was white its fleece

And as she daily fed it

She came soon to regret it

For in girth it steadily increased

And in growth’s aftermath

It would sleep in her bath

Or sometimes just crash on the floor

From the size of this ewe

Mary suddenly knew

That she couldn’t adopt any more

From desperation she cried

And several times tried

Rearranging her home for this friend

But its ever-expanding ‘hoof-age’

Took up too much square footage

And Mary was at her wit’s end

So she phoned Goldilocks

Who had a shoppe down the block

Selling varieties of fine specialty porridge

Mary took her advice

And without thinking twice

Went to Janice at Grand Central Self Storage

So some boxes were moved

And their lives slowly improved

While Mary saved more than just dollars

Let’s hope next time she decides

To bring mammals inside

She opts for something much smaller!