Never Really Mine

Strangers dared to call me their own

And even boasted of my presence among them

Adorned in their clothing

Inundated with their culture

And faithfully

Did I imitate their mannerisms

Calling them family

But they were never really mine

I followed their religion

Bearing burdens of unique family bonds and piety

Speaking proudly their accomplishments

Their loving advice a holy word

But internally

Was I raging for something other

I couldn’t withstand anymore

Since they were never really mine

Subconscious desperations leading me astray

From the safety of their caring embraces

Taken to rebellion

Never knowing why

Not even knowing how

Their warm welcomes back into the fold

Now becoming searing wounds

Tears burning my skin

For they were never really mine

No longer could I endure

Living outside of my own context

A new circumstance with no definition

Only a hope

Wherein the eye that is mine

The face that shares my gazes

Lies somewhere beyond the confines

Of the places named home

Where they were never really mine

I go back to them for want of nothing else

Their dutiful forgiveness

Of my oddities and back-lashings sickens me

They cannot fathom

Living without knowing

Being without identity

Picking and choosing yourself is never enough

From among lives

That were never really mine