Monday, October 22, 2007

Never Really Mine

Strangers dared to call me their own
And even boasted of my presence among them
Adorned in their clothing
Inundated with their culture
And faithfully
Did I imitate their mannerisms
Calling them family
But they were never really mine

I followed their religion
Bearing burdens of unique family bonds and piety
Speaking proudly their accomplishments
Their loving advice a holy word
But internally
Was I raging for something other
I couldn’t withstand anymore
Since they were never really mine

Subconscious desperations leading me astray
From the safety of their caring embraces
Taken to rebellion
Never knowing why
Not even knowing how
Their warm welcomes back into the fold
Now becoming searing wounds
Tears burning my skin
For they were never really mine

No longer could I endure
Living outside of my own context
A new circumstance with no definition
Only a hope
Wherein the eye that is mine
The face that shares my gazes
Lies somewhere beyond the confines
Of the places named home
Where they were never really mine

I go back to them for want of nothing else
Their dutiful forgiveness
Of my oddities and back-lashings sickens me
They cannot fathom
Living without knowing
Being without identity
Picking and choosing yourself is never enough
From among lives
That were never really mine

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